If I am being honest, things were not always great with my Dad. He was the generation that thought being a dad was being the one in complete control, and to rule by fear. I get it - he was born into a family with an alcoholic father whose mother would move them and their mattresses from one apartment to another during the worst years of his dad's drinking.
The sad thing is that sometimes being what we think is the best for our kids isn't. My dad was the boss, chauvenistic and a bully. He definitely worked hard for his family, but what I wouldn't have done for a hug and "love you" rather than him showing me to be subservient. We teach our children what is "normal" and what we come to expect in every aspect of our life.
My Dad passed away in 2017 and luckily we had some time as adults where we got to share opinions about my business, news, family, etc. and we were more equals. I actually have a picture of him in my workshop as an inspiration, because I learned so much from him. So much from how to manage living with him maybe, but still, I learned a lot even though it took years to understand the impact. I don't think he really had a clue how scared I was, or how that dynamic transferred to my work and home life.
I would love to have a conversation with him now. I would be more honest about how I was feeling, and maybe, just maybe, he would have understood and adjusted. I was so afraid of him, I was afraid to speak up.
Sadly, my son grew up without a father but has become an excellent father in spite of it. His children are very lucky. I know it is possible to be a good father, and that there are great Dads out there, so I have created throw blankets for those dads, and the dads that may not be their biological dads. Celebrate Your Dad, and if you can, be honest with him. You never know how you may help him grow. Before it is too late for a meaningful chat.
Here are some of my favourite quotes for Dads! or even better, write from your heart to your Dad!